We have been out since Lizzy has been born. We've been out for a drink and taken Lizzy Face with us, we've left her with my mum (hereafter known as Mumsef) and we have left her with Fergatrons parents as well, but never with a stranger.
I have mixed feelings about this. It is important to be able to leave Lizzy Face, especially as soon she will go to nursery and we will leave her 3 days a week with people we don't know - entrusting the most important thing in both of our lives to people we barely know. That's a hell of a gamble isn't it. It's also good for Lizzy Face to know that we can go and will always come back. We want her to grow up to be strong, independent, confident and open to people and places. Of course we do, the only problem is that every time I think of leaving her a voice in my head screams out "GO BACK GO BACK GO BACK GO BACK!!!"
As a man, and a father (I'm still not used to having this word attributed to me) I feel it is my job to be the voice of reason, to stay calm and say that yes, it's hard but it will be fine. And of course it will be, but there is still an idea that men should be strong sturdy and have their emotions in check. I can't believe that dads in the 1940s felt any different to the way I do now, but they weren't allowed to be in touch with their emotions. in many ways we have moved on, thanks to the influence of our European friends (though the English in general are still pretty stumped by meeting strangers with a hug and a kiss on the cheek, preferring even to this day the handshake and only after a beer a slap on the back). Maybe I'm wrong though and men were different back then? Hopefully someone will read this who knows better and will tell me. Fatherhood today is a strange beast, we are caught in-between the old fashioned 'father' figure, and the new trendy modern dad in touch with his feelings, sensitive and still stable and strong. Like in the adverts we don't really believe. However despite it all I'm pleased, I enjoy showing my daughter affection and love in public and openly being upset and nervous when leaving her or something scary happens, but all within reason; I'm a father after all, so no crying.....
...Until Tuesday (Monday is a bank holiday) when we will find out how our babysitter virginity went!!