There are two exceptions to this rule:
However fair warning, if you are of a similar parenting style to us (the modern, sensory healthy food interactive screen free type that's just so terribly trendy despite the use of TV screens in my childhood not turning me into a murderer, sociopath or anti-social retard) the use of this app comes with a suitably contrasting debate between the guilt of 'lazy' parenting (I put this in inverted commas as I often think things described this way may be sensible parenting as you are giving yourself a break) and the overjoyed feeling of the end of that fucking screaming!!
Personally, I can take the guilt.
The other exception to our rule was this weekend when, having reached 7 months Lizzy Face became old enough to understand her heritage, that's right we watched STAR WARS. Even just writing the words STAR WARS gives me a shiver. It's important that Lizzy Face start early as this cheap 1980s Sci-Fi will be the basis of my parenting style; she needs to know what she is in for.
For those of you who don't know I am a huge STAR WARS fan. I love it, I have a STAR WARS board in my house full of some of the most important quotes (from the point of view of a Jedi at least). It is entirely possible that I have moved a little too far into the world of STAR WARS and that it has become more of an actual belief, than ironic fun. But I don't mind. There is a lot to be said for implementing the Jedi Code with your children I think. The core message "beware, anger fear aggression, the Dark Side of The Force are they" is a good message for everyone. Such suggestions as 'don't give in to hate' hold as much sway in real life as they do in Lukes struggle against his own demons and while we are on that point Luke battles in Return of the Jedi against the fear of becoming his father, which I'm sure many of us can relate to. Of course there is the famous counter 'IF YOU ONLY KNEW THE POWER, OF THE DARK SIDE' which has tempted us all over the years but I hope to teach Lizzy Face that "A Jedi uses The Force for knowledge and defence, never for attack"
Lizzy Face loved it, from the moment it came on. She watched the battle of Hoth with interest; she was entertained by The Falcon flying out of the jaws of a massive worm and the chuckled more than once at C3PO. She found the wide shots of the Empires fleet very powerful, I suspect she wondered whether the Dark Side was all that bad, but when her eyes lit up as Luke and Vadars lightsabres met for the first time I think she understood. I thought she would find Yoda more amusing than she did; perhaps she was distracted as in stereo I was quoting every word he said. I don't mind though because if anything Yoda proves that you shouldn't judge a book by its cover (yet another good parenting lesson)
We sat together and watched, Lizzy Face had some nappy off time and I sat with my arm around her. We took a break for dinner and there wasn't quite enough time to watch the end so Lizzy Face never saw the big reveal. 'No, I am your father’ perhaps like Luke, she wasn't ready for the burden and perhaps it was for the best. She did not learn to 'search her feelings' but over all I think she got the message. I make no bones about it, Lizzy will hear STAR WARS quoted at her throughout her life (as the Fergatron regularly does) as I try to control my temper, look at the world and indeed not give in to the darkness we all have within us by reciting these mantra to myself.
We will watch the rest of the saga over the next year I'm sure, Lizzy Face may never like STAR WARS, indeed she will probably actively hate it. Regardless of how she feels about the movies I hope that she looks back and remembers a special treat, hanging out with her dad and having a long happy cuddle.
If nothing else she will hopefully be able to produce a Patronus... but that's another story