As you know, over the weekend I went to the wedding of my very good friends hereafter known as Team Johnstings. It was a truly wonderful affair, not only being able to get together with some close friends and relax but also seeing two people who really demonstrated to me the reason why people get married – something which until then I hadn’t really understood.
I don’t want to play my ‘child of divorce’ card if possible, however I do think that it has had an effect on my views on marriage but not in the way that I expected. For many years I’ve been quite scathing of marriage, claiming it an outdated institution that people just use as an excuse for a party and to have some attention for the day. I suspected that some people got married because they didn’t know what to do next in their relationship, and that some did it for the purely practical legal reasons. Although now that I think about it, I'm sure many people say the same about having children.
I have been friends with Mr Johnstings for a very long time, throughout our single years partying and trying to meet girls – a feat with which we encountered limited success. Mrs Johnstings has come into the fold in recent years and I think all are agreed that she has helped Mr Johnstings to find the very best in himself and encouraged him to be more than perhaps he thought himself capable of. They are a good couple, well balanced and where the one has a weakness the other has a strength. That is not to say that they are the ‘perfect’ couple, I am sure they have their own share of ups and downs but that’s not really for me to talk about here.
I have been friends with Mr Johnstings for a very long time, throughout our single years partying and trying to meet girls – a feat with which we encountered limited success. Mrs Johnstings has come into the fold in recent years and I think all are agreed that she has helped Mr Johnstings to find the very best in himself and encouraged him to be more than perhaps he thought himself capable of. They are a good couple, well balanced and where the one has a weakness the other has a strength. That is not to say that they are the ‘perfect’ couple, I am sure they have their own share of ups and downs but that’s not really for me to talk about here.
If there is a shortcoming it is that the distance we are all spread over and the limited times we are all able to get together en masse has meant that it took a little bit of time for us to get to know Mrs Johnstings, and the pair as a couple – all agreed however, as we watched them recite their vows and saw the genuine expressions of love and happiness that neither were able to shake off at all during the day, that they are perfect for each other.
I personally found their wedding very emotional. Perhaps because I am very close to Team Johnstings, perhaps because it is the first wedding I have been to since the birth of The Lizzy Face. I finally realised though, while watching my very good friend say his vows exactly why people get married. It isn’t because they have run out of things to do or say, and it’s not for any reasons of practicality. On Saturday I saw two people who complete each other, who help carry the weight of each others problems and whose experiences, outlooks and views challenge and support each other. Most of all, I saw the understanding and the connection between the two. There was no doubt, no worry, no jitters or wobbles. In the same way that when Lizzy arrived it felt like she always had and naturally would be there, I saw my friends knowing that to think anything else was ridiculous, bordering on comical; that they were meant to be together, as naturally as squirrels like to eat nuts in the winter.
I personally found their wedding very emotional. Perhaps because I am very close to Team Johnstings, perhaps because it is the first wedding I have been to since the birth of The Lizzy Face. I finally realised though, while watching my very good friend say his vows exactly why people get married. It isn’t because they have run out of things to do or say, and it’s not for any reasons of practicality. On Saturday I saw two people who complete each other, who help carry the weight of each others problems and whose experiences, outlooks and views challenge and support each other. Most of all, I saw the understanding and the connection between the two. There was no doubt, no worry, no jitters or wobbles. In the same way that when Lizzy arrived it felt like she always had and naturally would be there, I saw my friends knowing that to think anything else was ridiculous, bordering on comical; that they were meant to be together, as naturally as squirrels like to eat nuts in the winter.
Of course a marriage is a tricky thing, a whole life together is made of ups and downs but now I understand the point. It is about (if I may be clichéd and a touch soppy for a moment) demonstrating your love, uniting your friends and families and welcoming everyone together and above all it is about the feeling, indeed the knowledge that you will be a part of each others lives forever and to think otherwise is ridiculous. Just like the love you have for your child, of course they would get married - there could never be any question.