In May 2015 I started this blog, with two things in mind; to blog about my attempt to retrain myself and start a career in coding, and to see if a bit of blogging could raise money from strangers to fund such a thing. It didn't. It might have, if i were a more dedicated blogger or alluded to it more but really at a time when i needed somewhere to var_dump($myMind) ( a joke for the coders out there) the blog came in handy.
Well it is now March 2017, and this week I earned my very first pay check as a full time, employed PHP developer. I didn't blog at all over 2016, it was (as has been widely documented) the year from hell; and our house was no exception. There were potential jobs that fell through, there was clutching at straws and there were very near family break ups. Fuck you 2016, fuck you. But we made it though, and we made it through all together, a little battered and a lot bruised it's true but there you go. So with the pre-amble done I should, as any old friend would after a meeting long delayed, update you on my situation.
Well it is now March 2017, and this week I earned my very first pay check as a full time, employed PHP developer. I didn't blog at all over 2016, it was (as has been widely documented) the year from hell; and our house was no exception. There were potential jobs that fell through, there was clutching at straws and there were very near family break ups. Fuck you 2016, fuck you. But we made it though, and we made it through all together, a little battered and a lot bruised it's true but there you go. So with the pre-amble done I should, as any old friend would after a meeting long delayed, update you on my situation.
Well what do you need to know? Since my last entry I left my job in London, which was sad because I was, broadly speaking happy there. But it was too far away and there were too many frustrations and really, I just didn't love it any more. After that I worked for while in a pub round the corner from our house. If i were 25 and single it would have been great, it's a great pub, good team good banter but hey, I'm a thirty-something with a girlfriend and a child who I hardly saw. In the end I left, deciding ultimately that if I was going to make the jump into web development it was time to stop making excuses and do it. All or nothing, billy big balls. And so I quit. I worked a couple of jobs in-between and then just after Christmas I applied for, and got offered a full time job. So there you go children, no matter your age or experience you can reign some control over your destiny if you put the effort in. And I did.
Any time I had more than 10 minutes spare I was on the computer, time i should have been spending with Fergotron, taking my computer on holidays, sitting up late instead of going to bed not because it was fun and i loved it (which isn't to say that I didn't) but because it mattered, and it was important to make the progress. The hours spent watching tutorials, reading books, googling and getting so frustrated because I just didn't understand and couldn't make it work. Many times I wanted to 'sack it off' (as we say up north) but something kept me going. Fergotron probably, and LizzyFace. And then somehow, i ended up with what I had worked for, and that my friends is possibly the scariest thing ever.
Not that it isn't positive, but one spends much time imagining something they are aspiring to. So when one gets it, well what? Does it ever measure up? Is it what you were looking for? Perhaps it's horrible and then what, imagine you have made your family struggle, taken a large pay cut and then you hate it? Bad times to say the least. And there have been moments over the last month where it has felt like that, but overall it feels good. I don't feel embarrassed to tell people what I do for a living, i don't feel like I have to justify why I do it and I get to have a lunch break. Amazing.
As for the girls, I will talk about them in the next post perhaps but generally speaking they are doing well. life is currently a big upheaval and there is much change in the air but as I sit on the 2 1/2 hour train back to our flat (which isn't my commute, I am living away) I can't help but think about the many many years I spent in catering, my first love. And with absolutely no regrets whatsoever I hear myself say
"Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend you have been the one, you have been the one for me".
Well 2017, let's do this.
Any time I had more than 10 minutes spare I was on the computer, time i should have been spending with Fergotron, taking my computer on holidays, sitting up late instead of going to bed not because it was fun and i loved it (which isn't to say that I didn't) but because it mattered, and it was important to make the progress. The hours spent watching tutorials, reading books, googling and getting so frustrated because I just didn't understand and couldn't make it work. Many times I wanted to 'sack it off' (as we say up north) but something kept me going. Fergotron probably, and LizzyFace. And then somehow, i ended up with what I had worked for, and that my friends is possibly the scariest thing ever.
Not that it isn't positive, but one spends much time imagining something they are aspiring to. So when one gets it, well what? Does it ever measure up? Is it what you were looking for? Perhaps it's horrible and then what, imagine you have made your family struggle, taken a large pay cut and then you hate it? Bad times to say the least. And there have been moments over the last month where it has felt like that, but overall it feels good. I don't feel embarrassed to tell people what I do for a living, i don't feel like I have to justify why I do it and I get to have a lunch break. Amazing.
As for the girls, I will talk about them in the next post perhaps but generally speaking they are doing well. life is currently a big upheaval and there is much change in the air but as I sit on the 2 1/2 hour train back to our flat (which isn't my commute, I am living away) I can't help but think about the many many years I spent in catering, my first love. And with absolutely no regrets whatsoever I hear myself say
"Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend you have been the one, you have been the one for me".
Well 2017, let's do this.