Well it is now March 2017, and this week I earned my very first pay check as a full time, employed PHP developer. I didn't blog at all over 2016, it was (as has been widely documented) the year from hell; and our house was no exception. There were potential jobs that fell through, there was clutching at straws and there were very near family break ups. Fuck you 2016, fuck you. But we made it though, and we made it through all together, a little battered and a lot bruised it's true but there you go. So with the pre-amble done I should, as any old friend would after a meeting long delayed, update you on my situation.
Any time I had more than 10 minutes spare I was on the computer, time i should have been spending with Fergotron, taking my computer on holidays, sitting up late instead of going to bed not because it was fun and i loved it (which isn't to say that I didn't) but because it mattered, and it was important to make the progress. The hours spent watching tutorials, reading books, googling and getting so frustrated because I just didn't understand and couldn't make it work. Many times I wanted to 'sack it off' (as we say up north) but something kept me going. Fergotron probably, and LizzyFace. And then somehow, i ended up with what I had worked for, and that my friends is possibly the scariest thing ever.
Not that it isn't positive, but one spends much time imagining something they are aspiring to. So when one gets it, well what? Does it ever measure up? Is it what you were looking for? Perhaps it's horrible and then what, imagine you have made your family struggle, taken a large pay cut and then you hate it? Bad times to say the least. And there have been moments over the last month where it has felt like that, but overall it feels good. I don't feel embarrassed to tell people what I do for a living, i don't feel like I have to justify why I do it and I get to have a lunch break. Amazing.
As for the girls, I will talk about them in the next post perhaps but generally speaking they are doing well. life is currently a big upheaval and there is much change in the air but as I sit on the 2 1/2 hour train back to our flat (which isn't my commute, I am living away) I can't help but think about the many many years I spent in catering, my first love. And with absolutely no regrets whatsoever I hear myself say
"Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend you have been the one, you have been the one for me".
Well 2017, let's do this.