I’m a fairly tolerant person – not really of people, most people get on my nerves. So do cities, customer service tends to get me riled as does the price of public transport and actually I’m not a huge fan of the weather either. Come to think of it, I’m actually quite an angry irritable guy at times but when it comes to peoples beliefs I’m open to anything. So long as what you do does not cause any injury to anyone else believe away, Philosophically speaking I sit in a sphere of belief that there must be something more than what we know, but a strong conviction that any religion, organised or not doesn’t hold the answer. Anyone who claims to definitely ‘know’ any of the answers to the big questions is, in my opinion, almost certainly wrong- but if it makes them feel better about their earthly struggle then hey dude, fill your fucking boots. After living with a teething baby however, I feel reasonably justified in suggesting that any design theorist is full of utter twaddle.
If you don’t know about design theory (or teleological argument if you feel fancy) then check out this handy Wikipedia overview. This all sounds very plausible, I have to say that in the past I have not been adverse to this belief. I’m of the opinion that science doesn’t necessarily disprove design and in some ways it makes sense. Today, though, I can only imagine that if human development was designed, it was done so by a low performing GCSE student who did a rough plan for a project they abandoned half way through.
My beautiful baby girl has been in pain for weeks now on and off. A pain that one can only imagine at having had bad toothache in the past. The constant pain and discomfort is only heightened by the fact that she cannot understand why it is happening or do anything to stop it. Not only this, but she looks to me and Fergotron to make it go away and we can do nothing either. We hold her, we pat her, we give her Calpol and we try to distract her while our hearts break at the pain we know we cannot abate. Just for an extra bit of fun she now occasionally bites her tongue or her lip because she isn’t used to having razor sharp teeth there to hurt her, so she no longer knows how to eat, drink, chatter or even suck her thumb any more without hurting herself. Everything she knows is wrong.
Great design.
My beautiful baby girl has been in pain for weeks now on and off. A pain that one can only imagine at having had bad toothache in the past. The constant pain and discomfort is only heightened by the fact that she cannot understand why it is happening or do anything to stop it. Not only this, but she looks to me and Fergotron to make it go away and we can do nothing either. We hold her, we pat her, we give her Calpol and we try to distract her while our hearts break at the pain we know we cannot abate. Just for an extra bit of fun she now occasionally bites her tongue or her lip because she isn’t used to having razor sharp teeth there to hurt her, so she no longer knows how to eat, drink, chatter or even suck her thumb any more without hurting herself. Everything she knows is wrong.
Great design.
As if that wasn’t fun enough she also gets woken up by the pain, sometimes only every few hours, sometimes every 40 minutes or so. Amazing. So now she is not only in pain she is also exhausted. This does nothing to help her and these two together cause her to lose her appetite. Eating is too much trouble, it hurts and anyway now she’s so tired she can’t be bothered even if it wasn’t. Drinking isn’t any better so now she’s sore, tired, hungry and thirsty. The amount of drool she creates is astounding, making her mouth and cheeks uncomfy and also affecting her stomach giving her wind and bloated belly.
Fabulous planning
The fun doesn’t stop there, as if this isn’t enough myself and Fergotron are only able to stare helplessly on while this happens. Naturally Lizzy not sleeping means we aren’t sleeping. Even less fun before now that Fergotron is back at work so there is a need for the entire house to get a good rest. Now that our coping mechanisms are reduced due to insufficient rest and our emotions are high due to watching our baby struggle we get a nice influx of worry about her lack of appetite and thirst. As if this wasn’t sufficient there is a good smattering of guilt at not being able to help. We don’t want to give her Calpol if we don’t have to but sometimes it takes the edge off for her – sometimes of course it doesn’t. We try to tell her that it will be ok, it will pass but we don’t know how long it will take. New games like ‘clap your hands’ are not happening as the majority of time between soreness is spent zoning out. Now I can’t speak for Fergotron but for me there is also a huge worry that this is having a psychological effect on her, that she was in pain and we didn’t help and somehow this will carry on to her adult development. Of course this is nonsense – we all have teeth don’t we but we don’t resent our parents for not helping - but I am prone to internal (and external) melodrama, having read too many pop psychology websites. I know just enough to worry and not enough to really understand. Ahh the folly of the Wikipedia blue link!
Fabulous planning
The fun doesn’t stop there, as if this isn’t enough myself and Fergotron are only able to stare helplessly on while this happens. Naturally Lizzy not sleeping means we aren’t sleeping. Even less fun before now that Fergotron is back at work so there is a need for the entire house to get a good rest. Now that our coping mechanisms are reduced due to insufficient rest and our emotions are high due to watching our baby struggle we get a nice influx of worry about her lack of appetite and thirst. As if this wasn’t sufficient there is a good smattering of guilt at not being able to help. We don’t want to give her Calpol if we don’t have to but sometimes it takes the edge off for her – sometimes of course it doesn’t. We try to tell her that it will be ok, it will pass but we don’t know how long it will take. New games like ‘clap your hands’ are not happening as the majority of time between soreness is spent zoning out. Now I can’t speak for Fergotron but for me there is also a huge worry that this is having a psychological effect on her, that she was in pain and we didn’t help and somehow this will carry on to her adult development. Of course this is nonsense – we all have teeth don’t we but we don’t resent our parents for not helping - but I am prone to internal (and external) melodrama, having read too many pop psychology websites. I know just enough to worry and not enough to really understand. Ahh the folly of the Wikipedia blue link!
So in summation the whole process of giving birth seems badly designed enough and, while amazing, I have to say that watching a human develop very much sways me towards the opinion that I cannot believe that any being would design such a flawed system which causes so many ramifications and takes such a long time. That it has developed from something much worse and this is the best of a bad lot, on the other hand, I could well believe. So Evolution 1 – God – 0 it seems.
Now I know there is an argument given that the evolution is part of the design, but if so I’d still comeback to this point; If this world is a creation of the luck of evolution, then it’s doing pretty well, but if this is any part of any design, well lets just say, if the person was designing anything for me I’d Alan Sugar their ass.
I'm on holiday now for a week, so this will be the last post for a few days. Keep up with us on twitter though to see when we are back. Who knows what adventures we might have been up to.
Now I know there is an argument given that the evolution is part of the design, but if so I’d still comeback to this point; If this world is a creation of the luck of evolution, then it’s doing pretty well, but if this is any part of any design, well lets just say, if the person was designing anything for me I’d Alan Sugar their ass.
I'm on holiday now for a week, so this will be the last post for a few days. Keep up with us on twitter though to see when we are back. Who knows what adventures we might have been up to.